In Loving Memory

Shelah Diana Pascoe

2nd February 1936 - 8th June 2008

Shelah Diana Walker was born into a family of eight children in Dudley, West Midlands (then Worcestershire) on the 2nd February 1936. She was a prim and proper child, being nicknamed "Muff" (Little Miss Muffet). She loved ballet and tap and was in many shows at the "Dudley Hippodrome" as Miss La Tour's dance class provided children for touring companies. Her brother Bert, now in Canada, was often on the lights and so sometimes put a spotlight on his sister! All the children went to Anglican Sunday School but only Shelah became a regular churchgoer, first at St Francis, Dudley, then to the "more Roman than Rome" St Edmund's. At school she concentrated on singing and netball, but regretted this later and went to Dudley Technical College to do the RSA courses in shorthand and typing, also elocution. She got a job in a solicitors' office in Dudley, then moved on to several offices in Wolverhampton. She became secretary to "Mr Jack" of Stirk, Adams, Benton & Co. This lasted full-time for 15 years, and part-time after that. The Stirks became good family friends and are so to this day

I met her at a party in Dudley on 27th January 1968 when she was sent to talk to the new curate at Upper Gornal who looked a bit lonely. She gave me a lift home and became my chauffeuse for the next 40 years! We were married on 12th September 1970 at St Edmund's. We lived first in a tower block in West Bromwich, where I was in charge of the mission church of the Annunciation in St Gabriel's parish. This was the beginning of her excellent support of my ministry over many years. She started a "Ladies' Guild" and spearheaded a Flower Festival. Tim was born in 1972. He was always to be a joy to her. In 1973 we moved to St Andrew's, Walsall, an old Victorian Anglo-catholic church with a five-bedroom Vicarage which she kept immaculately. We had musical soirees in the house and concerts in the Church, which she arranged. She organized a Flower Festival there on the life of Sister Dora. In our final Anglican parish she again set up a Flower Festival on the history of Donnington in Telford, even including Serbian dancers.

She was always immensely proud of being a priest's wife and also exercised her own ministry. Walks with Tim in the pushchair generally involved visiting the elderly. She had a wonderful telephone ministry. She was always patient to answer queries and listen to people's problems. It was at St Andrew's that she started to play the piano. She was told that she might get to Grade 5 if she worked hard, given her age and responsibilities, but she eventually got to grade 8 standard and took many pupils to Grade 5 both on the organ and the piano. For several years she enjoyed her opportunity to play a piece on the organ at St Joseph's, Albrighton during the distribution of Holy Communion. And she loved the choir.

Her home was very important to her. She took a pride in traditional furniture and housework was never just chores. She was given to hospitality and loved preparing meals for friends and clergy. Likewise she took a pride in her own appearance. She looked after her skin which enhanced her impish smile. She always dressed immaculately. She would never wear jeans and only wore slacks in recent years, generally only around the house. It gave her pleasure that people generally took her to be 10 years younger than she was.

She had a great devotion to Our Lady of Walsingham, going on pilgrimage every year from the early sixties. In 1963 she had a slipped disc and spent six months in a plaster. She did a great deal of reading in this time and her favourite book was the Life of St Therese by Ronald Knox. This began a devotion to her and we visited Lisieux in 1983. We visited other shrines over the years including Aylesford, Lourdes, Rocamadour and also Rome in 1969 and 1999. Converting to the Roman Catholic Faith was very much a joint decision and has brought us much peace and joy. She often said it was the best thing we ever did. The lack of direction in the Church of England we found distressing, especially with regard to marriage and family life. The witness of Pope John Paul II was a great influence on us in this regard. The diocese of Shrewsbury has been good to us and we are grateful, especially to Bishop Brian.

A tribute like this has to be selective. I can sum up by saying that Shelah was first and foremost a loving wife and mother. Degree Day at Bath for Tim and my Catholic ordination were very proud days for her. She enjoyed good health all her life except for 1963 and this last 12 months coping with what she called "L" (lymphoedema), cancer and a stroke. It distressed her not to be able to care for me, Tim and her home. The care she received at Compton Hospice was excellent and we shall always be grateful for this. Also we give thanks for the prayers and practical help of friends and parishioners. Requiescat in pace. JP